“Maybe you could add a bit more detail - explain why, like why the giraffe's tongue is blue”
"I really like your sentence starters - they are different and you haven’t repeated them."
"Check it makes sense because some of it doesn’t - you could read it aloud to yourself."
"You’ve described the monster really well and you have lots of different sentence starters."
"You could use more punchy sentences."
"It is good that you have paragraphs but sometimes they are very long. When you re-craft you would make sure you only have important information."
"You didn’t just guess, you’ve put it good information."
Did you enjoy giving feedback?
"It was good to share my writing with someone new. I usually only share with the teachers. I enjoyed giving the feedback because it felt when when I had ideas about how they could make it better."
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